software upgrade

SOFTWARE UPGRADE TO WIFE VERSION 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took
up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0
installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0,
Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife
1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite
applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to
return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the
program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-
Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high
maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such
as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be
very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0
and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support